It can get harder?!?!?

Ok so Wednesday the eye test was read and it was fine. No surgery needed at this point and will do exams weekly. Then Thursday the Dr. called and said he was concerned with Ehtan's eyes and that he wanted another test done on Friday. Ok so I had my bags packed and the apartment emptied out just in case Friday morning they said we had to fly to Billings. So they did the eye test and we were just waiting around for the results to find out if we were going or not. The Dr. said he doesn't need surgery today but he wants another test done first thing Monday morning. Ok, so now we wait until Monday. Both Mark and I will have bags ready by Monday morning just in case. So today I was thinking.... this stuff used to cause me many tears. It was upsetting to me that we had Ethan so early and he just wasn't ready to come out yet, then it was upsetting that Mark and I had to be apart for many days as he had to go to work while I stayed in G.F., then it flying to Seattle. Now I feel like I am fine. I have accepted the daily routines that we are in and Ethan is showing great improvements. Flying to Seattle for the second time (and without Mark) didn't bother me. Flying to Billings doesn't bother me. It's just what we have to do for our baby. But then this morning made me think differently.


So there are 4 doctors here and they work about a week each. So today a new Dr. came on so she wanted to check in with all the babies. She came in and said "mom?" so I looked at her and she said "mom right? are you mom?" Ok I can understand that she may not know who mom is to a new baby. But seriously! Seriously! We have been here for over 2 months and I have talked to her many times. There is no reason why she should be asking if I am mom? (It used to bother me that she doesn't take the time to know the parents name and just calls them mom and dad but I am over that... she should know my face by now though!) So she continues with "I am glad you are back from Seattle. How was the surgery?" Me: "Um there was no surgery." Dr.: "Well isn't he the one that went to Seattle for the incarcerated hernia." Me: "Um yeah but the surgeon reduced it as soon as we got there." Dr.: "Well didn't he see Dr. Mortonson (the pediatrician Dr. here that was out of town when it happened.) Me: No he was out of town. Dr.: "Oh so that is why you had to fly." (JEEPERS lady... you might have thought to ask these questions when the last Dr. signed off to you and you were going over the medical records... or did you go over them!?!?!? So then she is looking over Ethan and asks me if there is any cystic fibrosis in the family. Um no, why are you asking? Well because there was a test that came back positive so we need to send in for another test. Um well I wasn't informed of this result. Why was I not told. So she turns to the nurse and the nurse says well I did the lab this morning (meaning she drew blood) and it was the first I have heard of it was this morning. Well I had been here for 5 hours this morning when this information was being brought to my attention. So then the Dr. tells me that there are a lot of false positive c.f. tests and that is why they are sending it in. It will take 1-2 weeks for the results. AAAAHHHHH is all I have to say. Now if someone is reading this and we do have cystic fibrosis in the family that I don't know about I need you to tell me right away. But seriously. I thought I was over being upset about things. Some nurses and Dr.'s really care and feel the need to tell you what is going on and then make sure that your questions are answered. But nope. Not today. Today I started to cry and the Dr. said oh no don't cry mom we don't know if it is positive yet. So she walked out the door with the nurse following. No, she wasn't following to talk to the Dr. She was following just to leave the room. I wasn't even crying that hard. I had a few tears run down my cheek. So I have to say that I am exhausted. Dealing with being in the hospital day after day is one issue but then having to deal with the this sort of thing just makes it worse.


Oh but good news is.... he has been on the nasal canula since Friday morning and has been doing really good at it. I have been taking pics and I know I need to post some... soon I hope. I did go back and post pictures from our first trip to Seattle a week or so ago so if you haven't seen them yet just scoll back to the older posts for some older pics.