Thursday... Gift of Life

So today started off with a little tears. We set the alarm to get up at 4 am to pump and when it went off I kept nudging Mark to get up. I was doing it ever so gently and in a soft voice and he was replying with "hmm hmm." So he got up to help me out of bed and I was in need of some pain medication so I needed him more than normal. So he leaned over me and put his arms on each side of my hip so I could grab on to his neck to pull myself up but I said "oh I'm hot!" in a whiney voice so then he pulled the blankets back and I said "oh no it's so cold!" so then he put the blankets back on me and then I just broke down in tears. All of a sudden Mark was awake. He asked me what was was wrong and I just explained to him how I don't want to be so needy and I don't want to sound demanding or crabby. He of course calmed me down and said that I wasn't and that I have been through a lot and that he is surprised that I don't need more from him. He also pointed out that things probably would have gone smoother if someone would have woke up (meaning him.) Oh I am so lucky to have him by my side for all of this.

We then went to the hospital at 7:30 so that we could be there for his cares at 8. Ethan seems to be doing better and he really likes his pacifier. It's funny because when I was pregnant my thought was that we would try not to get our baby started on the pacifier but this thought and many others have changed since having Ethan. Now our thought is do whatever we can to make him comfortable. He did have a echo cardiogram on his heart and it wasn't closed yet. The nurse did tell us that if it didn't close that there is a slight chance that he will have to have heart surgery. If he does he would be flown to Washington, Oregon or Colorado and of course we would fly with. This scares me! I am praying that his heart does what it needs to and that our poor little man doesn't have to have surgery.

We did get notified today that a spot opened up in the Gift of Life. The Gift of Life is free housing available for families with cancer patients or NICU. We are able to have this apartment until Ethan gets to go home. This will make things easier for us and cut down on costs as we won't have to drive as much. Of course Mark will be staying in Shelby so that he can take care of the dogs and work. He will be coming to visit Ethan and I when he can and on his days off he will be staying in Great Falls with me. I keep seeing signs of our angels watching over us. For those of you that don't know my Dad was a member of the Eagles Club in Viroqua. When he passed away the Eagles had a program that jumped in and paid for all of my college, my sisters schooling and even my little sisters medical bills. I have been soooo thankful for this as we don't have school loans to pay back. Well last night when we went to the gift of life there is a plaque next to each apartment stating who donated/sponsored for that apartment... our apartment was donated by the Eagles. It just made me cry as it made me think of my dad and how he is always here watching over me. I miss him so much and wish that he could be here to meet his grandson and of course the wonderful man that I married.

We decided to go out to grab a bite to eat together at a real restataurant but we decided it kind of short notice so we called up Applebee's and asked for them to put our order in and that we would eat at the bar (one thing I LOVE about MT is that all bars are smoke-free!). We headed out of the hospital ready to have a nice (well you know...nicer than the hospital) dinner together. We got out of the car and started walking to the door to Applebee's. I started to slow down and Mark stopped and asked if I was ok. I said "yeah I think so, I just thought I was going to puke for a second." So we took a few more steps and yep there it went... puked in the parking lot just right outside of the windows where lots of people were eating. Mark wiped my mouth with his sleeve and walked me back to the car and then went to get our food to go. Ugh... puke in my hair... puke on Mark's sleeve... puke after taste in my mouth... we were ready to go and take showers! (I don't know why I puked and usually I am not a puker!)

There is a lounge in the hospital where there is free drinks, free laundry, tv and where the meals you order are delivered. The hospital offers 3 free meals per room per day in the NICU. This is so nice as it helps cut down on food costs. Yesterday we were in there and we were talking to another parent that was here with twins and he said that they are starting to talk about discharge so he was really excited. He asked about our situation and I told him how we found out that I had a prolapsed cord and didn't realize the severity of it until a few days after the delivery. Another mom was in there and she said that almost happened to her but she was 38 weeks pregnant and went home yesterday. This got me thinking that maybe I should read what a prolapsed cord is and the chances of it happening. I found that it happens 1 in 300 pregnancies and it normally happens at the end of pregnancy... ie 38-40 weeks. No wonder all the nurses knew me as the one with the prolapsed cord! We found that with a prolapsed cord if an emergency c-section is not performed right away that it could lead to a still birth! OMG! I am so glad that we didn't know the severity of this when it was all going on. The first 2 days of this journey was very crazy and scary for the both of us the way it was! I am soooo thankful for Mark's co-worker who got me to the hospital when he did, the doctors and the nurses and of course for Mark who was there every step of the way! It makes me think of the term "Gift of Life" in a whole new light.