Preemie Mother's Oath

I came across this on another blog and felt "wow, this is me. This is what I have been trying to say. Well said."

I have sat in the NICU and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at my surviving miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to a nurse taking another temperature, an alarm going off, another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown.
I will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a preemie with physical challleges or medical issues, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown

Yesterday we attended the NICU picnic in Great Falls. We didn't know what to expect. We didn't really think the nurses would remember us (maybe some may not want to see us, as I may have spoke my mind a few times while we were there :- / But it was great. They all remembered us and it was great to see everyone. Of course I think it was equally great for them to see how awesome Ethan is doing and to see how they help so many families. We even got to see one of the Doctors that played a huge role in taking care of Ethan. Of course our NICU mates, Eli and Lindsey, were there and the boys got matching tats. I will forever be grateful for the care that was given to Ethan as well as the friends we made in the process.

Here is Ethan and one of the Doctors....

There was a balloon release in memory of those babies that didn't make it....
Eli doing his thang ;)
Ethan at the NICU picture stand...
There were bouncy houses! Ethan liked it (although you can't really tell in this picture ;)

Ethan's tattoo (don't worry... it was washed off that night ;)