The eye test...

So this morning I woke up at 5 am so that I could pump, shower and get a coffee before Ethan's eye test. Oh and do laundry. Since I have only 2.5 outfits here I have been doing laundry frequently. So I got up and threw in my laundry and then I pumped. Went to put the laundry in the dryer and I couldn't open the laundry door. Great! So I went to see Ethan and went back to the laundry... still couldn't open it! Ugh... I have no clothes to wear other than the ones in the washer... so they called some maintenance guy up to see what he could do. I was convinced they were going to say "well we can't do much about it but call the laundry tech which wont be in until 9am" but nope... he looked at it, pulled and it opened! Ugh... well at least it opened!

So then downstairs I went for the eye test. Normally I wouldn't watch it but since our trip back home was based upon this test I chose to watch. Yeah, probably the last one I watch too! First they had to give him 3 sets of eye drops 5 minutes apart... that was hard to watch. Then the eye Dr. came in and put more eye drops in and then held his eyes open with this little thing that looked like a tweezer. She talked her medical talk as her assistant wrote it down. Ethan was crying and I was on the edge of my chair ready to throw the woman out of the room! It was just hard to watch my baby be uncomfortable and cry. I asked the Dr.'s every chance I got if they knew what the test results were and what it meant for us. Finally I got an answer stating that his eyes are normal for a preemie but they will continue to watch them to see if he needs laser surgery in the next few months. She said that we should be going back to Great Falls on Friday. Yeah! An answer!

Today has been a very different day. But it's been a really good day. It is the first day that i feel remotely close to being a mom. He has on cpap now so he can cry and today he wanted us to hear his voice. He loves his binky. He is in an open bed now so its been more natural that anytime he cried I just got up and checked his diaper, changed it if it needed to be changed, put his binky in his mouth and if that didn't work I tried bouncing him in his bed and one time I just told the nurse it was time for me to hold him. This morning at rounds the resident talked about weening him off the cpap and onto the nasal canula but the Dr. said no because she wants him to do good on the flight. So instead she ordered cpap breaks where he would be on the nasal canula for an hour at a time for 3 times today while I held him. Yeah! It was really awesome! I wasn't on the internet or the phone much today. I wasn't in a hurry to return any calls either... all because my little boy showed he needed me. I couldn't just leave him crying in his room while I did other things.... and I loved every minute of it.

I mentioned earlier that there was a couple in G.F. that had to go to Seattle for some belly surgery. Well that couple is still here. We have been chatting a lot lately. She was in the room while I was holding Ethan's binky in for hours at a time ;) I offered her some of my breast milk yesterday as I know she is unable to pump anymore. Of course she was thrilled about that. I had asked a nurse a few days ago if that was ok here and she said yes. Well today I confirmed it with the lactation consultant and she told me that it is against hospital policy. This hospital will not accept donated milk that goes through a milk bank and pasteurized either! I think this is insane. This is a hospital with some of the sickest children. The importance of breast milk is huge and then to have some stupid policy against it! Ugh... so I am still going to save all my breast milk so if she does want it when she gets home she can have it and if not I am going to donate it to a milk bank. The deep freezer we bought a few weeks ago... yep it's full! I think we are going to pick up a used one and put in the garage... we could feed the whole NICU for a year right now!