Satrurday... time for a change

Today I got up early to get to Ethan's 8:00 cares. They were drawing blood on him and the nurse knew that I would be coming in shortly so she made sure someone told me as soon as I walked in the door... they know I'm a fainter ;) He had a good night last night. No changes... so I guess good and bad.

After his 12:00 cares I picked up some groceries and headed back to the house. I feel like I could use a night with Mark and a night where I do regular things. I made a nice dinner and then we just relaxed. It was a nice change. I am considering staying 2 nights but I just don't know if I can do it! I feel like Ethan has to hear my voice everyday to know that I am here for him. He heard my voice everyday while he was in my belly and he should be able to hear it now that he is out of my belly. The nurse offered me to sit next to his bed and read him a book. Oh how I want to read him a book! But lately I have been an emotional wreck. It takes everything in me to hold his hand and not start bawling. I got emotional reading him books while he was in my belly... now you want me to read to him while he is in an incubator? Mark of course told me he would read to Ethan when he sees him. Mark also brought up the idea that I could stay at the house tomorrow and then we will swing down to visit Ethan tomorrow night after he is done with work. That way I can do some laundry and some scrapbooking and still see my little boy ;)

They did try to ween him off the ventilator today and tonight we called to see how he was doing and they said that they may have to turn the ventilator back up because his blood gas wasn't stellar like they want to see it. It stinks to hear that because I really want him off the ventilator as soon as possible and I know that won't happen until they can continue to turn the ventilator down. Hopefully it will happen soon.